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Being Australian means...... - Posted on 23-01-2008 18:07
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Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub

for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry

or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and

watch American shows on a Japanese TV



Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house

Faster than an ambulance.



Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the

way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while

healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front



Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large

fries and a DIET coke



Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the

pens to the counters.



Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars

on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.



Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls

and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

didn't want to talk to in the first place.



Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of

A skating rink.



NOT TO MENTION...



3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.



And finally����.

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


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RE: Being Australian means...... - Posted on 24-01-2008 07:17
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I thought there would have been more than 58 with the screwdriver thingy....... I did it my self just last week.....DOOOOOOOPsmiley


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RE: Being Australian means...... - Posted on 26-01-2008 10:19
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Well being a 7th generation Aussie and a similar heritage as a Queenslander I think I am qualified to say that Queenslanders are different.

The rest of this country rides on our back and knows it.

However Queensland is still the country of that all Aussie person the larikin.

A few years ago when V8 utes were new and there were lots of people getting killed in accidents with them, the government got Holden and Ford to install black box fight recorders in the machines, to try and discover the cause of all these deaths.

The results were very interesting.

In 80% of all fatal accidents the last 15 seconds recorded the expression





"OH SH*T"


EXCEPT QUEENSLAND!!


Where the recorded words were "Holdl my beer mate and watch this."
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RE: Being Australian means...... - Posted on 27-01-2008 09:45
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dirty wheels wrote:

"OH SH*T"


EXCEPT QUEENSLAND!!


Where the recorded words were "Holdl my beer mate and watch this."



This is a good one its either hold my Beer or Rum but its good i still can get over the 9 volt battery thing thats just mad.... but the opening the bottle with ur teeth is just nasty i know a few people who can doit with there belly button....smiley


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RE: Being Australian means...... - Posted on 11-08-2008 21:57
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... but the opening the bottle with ur teeth is just nasty i know a few people who can doit with there belly button....smiley[/quote] my exwife can do it with her ummm well i will leave it there
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